


Nevermind, Goodnight

by AirDoodles



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), GOT7
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 10:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11530539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AirDoodles/pseuds/AirDoodles
Summary: One evening, in a moment of emotional turmoil, Jisoo accidentally sends Jinyoung the wrong text. Or the right one?





	1. Chapter 1

 

Jisoo used her thumbnail to chip the nail polish off her index finger while she waited for Jennie’s text message. Three little dots danced in a small white bubble, which meant that she was in the middle of typing out a reply. Jisoo felt her lungs tightening with each nervous breath. She tried scrolling through their conversation and reading past messages to distract herself, but all she could focus on was the message she sent to Jennie just a few minutes ago.

 

“Ok fine, you’re right,” the message read, and Jisoo had included an angry emoji. “I like Jinyoung.”

 

After what felt like ages, Jennie finally texted back: “Lol, girl, you weren’t fooling anyone.”

 

Jisoo scooped her phone up and held it close to her face to read Jennie’s blunt reply. She rolled over onto her stomach and stared at the screen, trying to think of what to text back. Of course, Jennie knows, she always knows. Even before she does, most times. The dancing dots reappeared and Jennie sent a second reply.

 

“I low-key think you two look really cute together,” the message said. Jisoo groaned and buried her face in the covers of her bed. Her heart was fluttering. Contradictory emotions were coursing through her like a swarm of bees. She hated that Jennie could read her so easily, but at the same time, she was thrilled that her friend approved of her feelings.

 

Why wouldn’t she, though? Jinyoung was perfect. Jisoo re-read Jennie’s message and thought of her fellow Inkigayo MC. Sweet, handsome, talented, hard working, kind-hearted Park Jinyoung. Jisoo remembered being selected to join the Inkigayo cast and meeting him for the first time. From the very first moment they spoke, she knew her heart wouldn’t stand a chance. 

 

Her phone chimed again and Jisoo looked up to read Jennie’s reply. But her stomach did a somersault realizing that it wasn’t Jennie’s name that popped up on her screen. It was Jinyoung who’d sent her a message. 

 

Jisoo sat up in her bed and squealed aloud with equal parts terror and delight. Jinyoung was texting her! He sent a message! She sat cross-legged on the covers and collected herself for a moment before unlocking her phone to view his message. Even before she could fully read it, she knew it would be work-related. Jinyoung always took his work very seriously, which Jisoo admired him for, but of course she sometimes wished he would contact her just to say “hello” or talk about something else. 

 

“Want to discuss possible concepts for upcoming special stage?” Jinyoung’s message read. “Writers want to hear our ideas.”

 

Jisoo clenched her eyes shut and tried to calm her racing heart before replying. In the middle of her attempts to remain calm, another chime on her phone signaled the arrival of Jennie’s third message. Jisoo let out a slow breath and started typing.

 

“Should we include Doyoung in this discussion?” she sent to Jinyoung. Then she switched conversations and turned back to Jennie, who had replied:

 

“Seriously, I think you look cute together. I bet the writers do, too, why would they keep dressing you two in couple clothes all the time?”

 

Jisoo blushed, thinking about all the times her stylist team at Inkigayo would dress her so that hers and Jinyoung’s outfit were coordinated. She had seem herself on TV. They really did look like a couple most weeks. She tried not to smile too big as she typed:

 

“Wait, u really think so?”

 

Her phone chimed with Jinyoung’s reply: “Doyoung’s filming something right now, I didn’t wanna bother him by blowing up his phone with messages. Got any ideas?”

 

Jisoo replied: “Let me hear your ideas first, I’m thinking.”

 

Jennie replied: “Yeah, even Lisa and Rose think so, haha. We were just discussing this the other day.”

 

Jisoo snorted as she typed: “Seriously? Wow, thanks for talking about me behind my back.”

 

Sent. Another window popped up with Jinyoung’s reply in another conversation.

 

“No concrete ideas yet,” his message read. “But I have some ideas about general themes we could possibly do. Like something spring-themed, or something related to family.”

 

Jisoo typed: “Spring might be a good one. But could be slightly repetitive since we did a seasonal theme once already?”

 

Jennie’s message popped up: “So when did u start liking Jinyoung? Details, pls!!!”

 

Jisoo fell back against her bed again, kicking her legs and clenching her eyes shut as she held her phone close to her chest. How could she even begin to explain her feelings for Jinyoung? Jisoo groaned again, feeling exasperated by how ridiculous she was being, all because of a boy. But her heart felt too full, she had began to text Jennie about it because she just couldn’t hold it in anymore. She looked at her phone again and typed:

 

“I don’t really know, honestly. It just sort of happened.”

 

Sent. Jisoo began typing another message as thoughts can rushing to her.

 

“Like, one day we were just co-workers hosting Inkigayo together,” she wrote. “And then we got closer and found things that we had in common, and next thing I know, I’m sitting at home or just hanging out in the practice room or doing whatever, and I suddenly think about him. And then the thoughts don’t go away for HOURS!”

 

Her phone chimed with another message from Jinyoung at the same time that Jennie replied:

 

“Wow.” Jisoo immediately began typing another message:

 

“Just the other day, he texted in the group chat and asked Doyoung if he still needed to borrow a DVD, and I thought about him for FOUR hours.”

 

“What do you think about?” Jennie replied moments later. Jisoo replied:

 

“I don’t know. Random stuff. Like, I wonder if he’s okay, or what he’s had to eat. I get worried ‘cause what if he’s stressed out or if his plane goes down over the Indian Ocean while doing overseas schedules?”

 

Sent. In the short pause between replies, Jisoo checked her other conversation thread, the one with Jinyoung. He had written: 

 

“That’s what I was thinking, too,” Jinyoung replied. “I was also thinking a star theme or something involving James Bond, haha.”

 

Jisoo was about to reply with a laughing emoji when Jennie’s reply suddenly popped up:

 

“Omg.”

 

Switching gears suddenly, Jisoo wrote:

 

“I always have this weird urge to call or text him just to see how he’s doing… or I have this weird urge to reveal my really deep, personal thoughts to him.”

 

Jennie replied: “What? That’s weird, why?”

 

Jisoo began to type furiously: “I don’t know. Maybe because he… he feels kind of comfortable. He makes _me_ feel comfortable. And he’s trustworthy and reliable. He’s so nice, too. And of course, my god, he’s so cute. Shit. I seriously have feelings for him.”

 

Jennie’s reply came literally 0.0975 seconds later: “YES! GO, JISOO! GO AFTER YOUR TRUE LOVE! <3”

 

Jisoo blushed and groaned again. “Omg, Jennie, stop.”

 

Jennie: “JISOO <3 JINYOUNG, #JINJI, BEST COUPLE! I SUPPORT THIS 100%! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!”

 

Jinyoung sent a second message just as Jennie’s previous one made her phone ring. The amount of messages making her phone chime was beginning to make Jisoo nervous. She started banging out an exasperated reply to Jennie:

 

“Stop saying that!” she wrote. 

 

Sent. There was a short pause that made Jisoo wonder what was taking Jennie so long. Then came her reply:

 

“Stop saying what?” 

 

Jisoo typed: “Love!”

 

Reply: “What?”

 

Jisoo wrote: “I don’t know if it’s love yet! Ok? All I know right now is that I have strong feelings for him, and that I think he’s a generally wonderful person, talented and reliable and kind, handsome, but also humble and he makes me feel comfortable but at the same time, because he’s so amazing, he makes me want to be just like him, but can we really call that love yet?”

 

Sent. Jisoo stood up and began pacing quickly to work off her nerves. When her phone chimed again, she jumped back onto her mattress and pulled her knees up to her chest to read the response:

 

“I don’t know,” the message said. “But it sounds like you definitely have strong feelings for this guy?”

 

Jisoo groaned as she typed: “Ugh. See how crazy how I sound? How do you just casually mention that to someone? Hi, I think you’re perfect. Bye.”

 

Reply: “Just like that? Hehehe.”

 

Jisoo frowned as she typed:

 

“Take this a little more seriously, I am talking about baring my soul to this guy. And what if he doesn’t like me back? I’ll just end up ruining this great friendship and partnership that we already have, everything will be awkward!”

 

Jisoo read and re-read the message again and again after sending it. It was true. There was a measure of risk in the idea of revealing her feelings to Jinyoung. Yes, he was an amazing, wonderful, spectacular person and she could never imagine him being rude or malicious toward her for telling him how she felt. But the way things were between them now were so good. Introducing more-than-platonic feelings into the relationship might actually make it crumble and fall apart. 

 

Another message popped up in the thread after what felt like an eternity.

 

“If he’s really as great as you say he is,” the message read. “—then he’ll respect your feelings even if he doesn’t reciprocate them. But if he does, you’ll miss out on an opportunity by keeping these thoughts to yourself. Even if he doesn’t like you back, you’ll still be the beautiful, genuine, talented person that you are now.”

 

A second message followed:

 

“Take a chance.”

 

Jisoo’s chest felt heavy. She thought of Jinyoung and her heart fell full once more. She chewed in the inside of her cheek as she typed:

 

“Should I? I don’t know, I really like him, I don’t think I could take it if he rejects me. What do you think? Is it love? Should I tell him?”

 

Sent. 

 

Reply: “I don’t know. I’m actually a little bit confused. Who are we talking about?”

 

Jisoo guffawed. _This girl_ , Jisoo thought, hammering out an annoyed reply.

 

“What, have you been asleep this entire conversation? JINYOUNG!”

 

Sent. And then came the reply:

 

“Yes?”

 

Jisoo was confused: “What?”

 

Reply: “Me?”

 

Jisoo froze. A frigid chill ran down her spine and throughout her whole body as she slowly forced her eyes to look down at the screen and check the name of the person she was texting. She felt her blood turn into ice as she confirmed her worst fear: she had accidentally sent all of that to Jinyoung, not Jennie.

 

Her phone chimed with a reply from him: “Hello? Jisoo?”

 

Jisoo jumped off her bed and onto her feet. Her cell phone fell to the floor of her bedroom as she paced about the room wildly. She grabbed fistfuls of her hair and screamed and cursed her own stupidity. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why was she like this? Why did she do shit like this? Why was she so dumb?

 

 _What do I do? What do I do_?

 

In the heat of the moment, Jisoo collapsed onto her knees in the middle of the room and assumed a fetal position right there on the hardwood floor, ignoring the sound of her phone alerting her of Jinyoung’s messages.

 

That’s it, she thought. _I have to leave Blackpink. I have to quit entertainment. I need to leave the country and change my name and cut my hair. There is no hope of recovery for me from the utter humiliation of this situation. My only option now is to purchase sandbags, strap them to my limbs, and then jump off Banpo Bridge. Only in death will I be able to live down the embarrassment_.

 

Text message chimes had turned into a phone call, as she heard her phone blasting her ringtone from where it fell by the foot of her bed. Jisoo didn’t move from her fetal position on the floor. She ignored the call, let it go to her voicemail. Once the initial wave of drama had partially tided, she crawled slowly over to her phone. She turned it over slowly, checking the preview of his message:

 

“Was all that about me?”

 

 _Shit_ , Jisoo thought. She pulled her knees into her chest and buried her face in her arms. 

 

_What now? What now?_

 

She looked over at her screen and saw the three dancing dots again. He was typing. Jisoo grinder her teeth nervously as she waited for what he would type next. Minute after minute passed of endless waiting, and so finally, Jisoo just grabbed her phone and typed, frantically:

 

“It’s a good idea, right?”

 

The three bouncing dots disappeared for a moment, and then they reappeared, along with a monosyllabic reply from Jinyoung:

 

“What?”

 

Jisoo tried to catch her breath as her fingers flew over the keyboard, pounding out the most absurd lie, ever, but it was the best she could do for the moment, to salvage the situation and her pride:

 

“For Inkigayo!” she wrote. “I was just fleshing out an idea I had for a possible special stage, haha! But it felt real right? I was thinking: what if we used “confession” as a concept for our next special stage? I mean, why not? It’s a huge theme in a lot of our songs, we can probably do a mash-up or something. Like I could sing a part of ‘Whistle’ and Doyoung could sing an NCT song, and GOT7 has a song called ‘Confession Song’ right? Good idea?”

 

Jisoo waited five minutes for his reply, but it felt like an hour, only to receive:

 

“Oh. I see.”

 

Jisoo put her phone down for a minute and began massaging her temples. A stress headache had suddenly assailed her. “Idiot, idiot,” she chanted to herself. Her phone lit up with his reply the next minute:

 

“So… all that stuff you said about the guy you liked… it was just part of this idea you had for a special stage involving confessions?”

 

Jisoo hurried and wrote:

 

“Yeah! Think of it like a… declaration of love to our fans!”

 

 _Stupid,_ she thought to herself, thoroughly convinced that this was the end of her friendship with Jinyoung. He replied, dryly:

 

“Ok.”

 

He didn’t reply for another five minutes and Jisoo rocked back and forth on her heels. He finally texted again:

 

“Generally, I like it. You should pitch it to the writers.”

 

She typed: “Right. I think maybe I will.”

 

He sent: “Right. Ok, so, job done, then?”

 

“I guess so.”

 

“Ok. I’ll see you next week, then. Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnit. *Goodnight!” Jisoo hit send and then dropped her phone back to the ground. She stood up and heaved in the deepest, heaviest breath she could. Done. It was over. Situation managed. That wasn’t bad was it? She was in a little trouble for a minute there, but had she managed to save it?

 

Her phone lit up one last time, making Jisoo panic. It was Jinyoung again. Jisoo sighed as she unlocked her phone to read his message:

 

“Jisoo?” it said. She pressed her lips into a tight line as she typed slowly:

 

“Yes?”

 

She held her breath as the three circles appeared again. They bounced across her screen for two minutes, and then three minutes and then five. Jisoo’s anxiety grew and grew with every passing second that he spent typing. But in the end, the three dots disappeared. They were suddenly replaced by a short message that could not have taken five minutes to draft. All it said was:

 

“Nevermind. Goodnight.”


	2. Chapter 2

 

Jisoo didn’t have to open her eyes and check the mirror to know that she probably looked horrendous. She did end up pitching the “confession” idea to the Inkigayo writers, just to show Jinyoung that it was a legitimate idea. She never anticipated that the writers would actually like it. 

 

After her text message failure, she had stayed up every night until the Inkigayo recording, trying to come up with a plan of action. That, and searching the internet for an excuse not to go altogether. Her Naver search history had search terms like “how to fake a fever,” “is time travel possible?” “blackpink jisoo lookalikes,” and “cheap same-day flights.”

 

She _really_ did not want to go to the Inkigayo recording that morning. But she was laying in bed pretending to be asleep and possibly unwell when their manager knocked on her door.

 

“Jisoo! It’s time to get ready, you have to be at the SBS building in an hour,” their manager she. Jisoo groaned, loud so that her manager could hear. When she didn’t get up to open the door, their manager turned the handle and walked in.

 

“Jisoo, what are you doing?” she said, tilting her head with concern. “You were supposed to be up an hour ago. Have you had breakfast?”

 

“I don’t think I can go,” Jisoo tried. Her manager raised an eyebrow.

 

“Why not?” she asked. “You’re usually excited to record. Are you okay?”

 

“Umm,” Jisoo said, her voice partially muffled by her pillow. She hoped she sounded sick. “I don’t feel so good, unni.”

 

The door opened again, and Jennie and Rosé walked into the room and plopped themselves down on the bed on the opposite side of the room. Jisoo didn’t look up to keep her face hidden from her manager, but she didn’t need to look up to see the satisfied, teasing grins on Jennie and Rosé’s faces. When they came home from a late-night ice cream run last night, Rosé had walked into the room and found Jisoo still in a fetal position on the floor with her cellphone leaning against the opposite wall like she had thrown it. 

 

So naturally, Jisoo had to explain and recount the embarrassing mishap. 

 

“Oh, no, unni,” Rosé said in a sing-song voice, holding back her laughter. “What’s wrong? You can’t be sick? I told you if you use your phone too much, all the electronic radiation will go to your head.”

 

“You’re not fooling anyone with your sick act, either,” Jennie said, covering her mouth to laugh. 

 

Jisoo groaned. She was about to turn around and yell ‘yah, Kim Jennie!’ but just as she whipped around, their manager slapped a hand on her forehead. She had a thoughtful look on her face.

 

“You don’t have a fever.”

 

Jisoo swallowed. “But… I did… last night?”

 

“It wasn’t a fever, though,” Rosé said, smiling. “Maybe you just felt all hot and bothered because Jinyoung—”

 

Jisoo, in her whole life, had never moved as quick as she did as when she jumped out of bed and bolted toward the opposite bed. Rosé and Jennie squealed as they jumped off the bed and ran away, out of Jisoo’s range of attack. Which ended up being a mistake since, seeing her up and out of bed, Blackpink’s manager determined that Jisoo was well enough to attend the Inkigayo producers’ meeting after all.

 

“Be ready in ten minutes!” their manager said, closing the door behind her, leaving Jisoo to stand in front of the mirror alone. Jisoo slapped his palms over her temples and clenched her eyes shut again. She opened her mouth and let out a mute, panicked scream.

 

The entire car ride over to the SBS Building, Jisoo fidgeted with her hands and her hair. 

 

God, what would she say to him? Would he bring up last night’s text conversation again? She hoped he wouldn’t. Please don’t, Jinyoung. Shit. Her nerves were a wreck. The drive into the city felt like she was floating aimlessly in space. She normally didn’t get car-sick but today she was feeling slightly woozy.

 

What would he say? What would _she_ say in reply? What if he didn’t say anything? Should _she_ say something? And Doyoung, what if he noticed her acting weird and then _he_ said something? 

 

“Just chill out, just chill out,” Jisoo started whispering under her breath as she clenched and unclenched her fists. Just be cool, she thought. Maybe he wouldn’t say anything at all. 

 

Jisoo felt like a ghost walking through the halls of the SBS building, escorted by her manager. Her eyes darted back and forth, right and left, simultaneously anxious to see Jinyoung and hoping not to see him. One inside, a producer handed her the script for the day and began pointing out some changes they had made. Jisoo tried her best to concentrate and take her mind off her blunder. The producer was in the middle of telling her that they would begin the day’s recording with the MC’s special stage when the door of the waiting room opened again, and in walked Doyoung and Jinyoung.

 

Jisoo felt like her heart had jumped straight up into her throat at the sight of him. He was wearing a blue sweater and jeans, a typical outfit of his. Having just walked in, there wasn’t a spot of makeup anywhere on his face. Instead, his skin glowed with light perspiration. His hair was loose and soft and fell gently over his forehead and Jisoo was finding it harder and harder to breathe.

 

God, why did he have to look so beautiful all the time? And naturally so. It was almost upsetting that he could look so good without a stylist’s help. Jisoo thought she looked okay with makeup of heavy styling, but god knows she didn’t look _that_ good in the morning. 

 

“Jisoo, are you listening?” asked the producer. “Jisoo-ssi!”

 

Jisoo snapped back to attention, but the way the producer shouted her name had caught Jinyoung and Doyoung’s attention, too. 

 

“Are you nervous, noona?” Doyoung asked, smiling as he slid into a chair to get his makeup done. “It’s not like this is gonna be your first time performing. And hyung’s song is really good.”

 

Jisoo laughing nervously. She turned her attention back to the producer who was explaining when they would go up and perform their “confession.” Doyoung had been given a sweet ballad by his DBSK seniors to sing. Jisoo, it was decided, would sing a bit of 2NE1’s “I Love You,” and Jinyoung would bring up the back end of the performance by singing GOT7’s “Confession Song.”

 

She nodded intermittently, trying not to look sideways and confirm her suspicion that Jinyoung might be looking at her. She thought she could see him in the corner of her eye, turning his head in her direction. He was sitting in a chair like the one Doyoung sat in, getting his makeup done. 

 

They weren’t usually this quiet. Jisoo eyed Doyoung, too, and she could tell that he was sensing a change in the atmosphere. They weren’t usually this quiet, the three of them. Once the producer finished briefing her, he turned to the boys and gave them the same quick run-down. Jisoo, meanwhile, was led out of the room for a minute to change into her stage outfit: a flowy, lilac dress, soft and romantic to suit the atmosphere of the stage. She paced out in the hallway for a minute, using the excuse that she wanted to run through some vocal exercises alone, but it was really just a chance to calm herself again.

 

“Chillax, Chichu, just relax,” she said, pressing the heels of her palms to her forehead. “You are stressing this out way too much, he hasn’t even said anything. Maybe he forgot the whole thing.”

 

She shook out her shoulders to calm herself. Then, putting on a brave face, she walked back to the door of the waiting room. She was about to turn the door handle and enter, but before she could, the door swung open, and Jisoo found herself standing face-to-face with Jinyoung.

 

He was hair and makeup ready and had changed into his stage outfit: a simple khaki pants and blazer ensemble, but it did wonders for his appearance. Not that he needed any help looking good, he was naturally handsome. But suddenly being so close to him, Jisoo felt her nerves overwhelming her again. She even let out a small, audible whimper as she leaned sharply away.

 

Jinyoung instinctively put a hand onto her shoulder to steady her. A concerned look was on his face.

 

“You okay?” he said. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were… are you okay?”

 

Jisoo nodded mutely. “I’m fine!” she said, laughing nervously. “I’m okay. I was about to go inside when you came out and… yeah.”

 

Her words trailed off at the end as she stared into his face and slowly forgot what she was about to say. She could feel her cheeks getting hot. Jinyoung smiled reassuringly. 

 

“Good,” he said. “Well, it’s almost time to take our places on stage, we should get going.”

 

“Right,” Jisoo said. “Let’s go.”

 

The team of producers and staff accompanied the MCs to the recording area. There were already hoards of adoring fans filling the auditorium and Jisoo put on a happy smile for her fans’ sake. Jinyoung and Doyoung were both looking down at their scripts one last time, ensuring that they knew their lines by heart. Jisoo felt bad that she wasn’t doing the same. Crew ran back and forth across the staging area, making last minute changes to the set, which was decorated with flowers and stars and soft, romantic lighting. 

 

All the while, the three MCs stood side-by-side, waiting for their cue to get on stage and take their places. Jisoo’s heart was pounding once more, a new sensation, since she didn’t often feel nervous before a performance. She gripped her microphone tightly, palms sweating.

 

“Jisoo?” Jinyoung said softly. Jisoo tensed.

 

“Huh?” she said. 

 

When Jinyoung didn’t say anything, Jisoo turned to face him slowly. There was a look on his face. One that she couldn’t read, but she could tell that he wanted to say something. She pressed her lips into a tight, flat line and raised her brows.

 

“Yes?” she said again.

 

Jinyoung’s mouth opened slightly, but then instead of speaking, he gave her a half-smile.

 

“Nevermind,” he said. “Uh… good luck today. Don’t be nervous, you’ll be fine.”

 

“Oh,” Jisoo said. Why did she feel so disappointed? “Thank you.”

 

Jinyoung’s shoulders fell slightly as he let out a sigh. Then, he turned back to his script and Doyoung tapped his shoulder to ask a question.

 

Was that it? Jisoo felt relieved that Jinyoung didn’t seem interested in discussing her latest mishap, but she wondered why she suddenly felt so… empty? 

 

The bell rung and the director instructed them to take their places on stage. Jisoo walked over to stage right and stood in her spot. Doyoung was first up in their stage. He was to sing a few parts from a DBSK song. Jisoo would follow after him. NCT fans in the auditorium screamed his name when the music started and the cameras started rolling. Doyoung did his thing, belted out his parts with grace and confidence. Jisoo did her best to force her nerves away and perform her best. She was ever mindful of Jinyoung, who was standing just a few paces behind her, waiting for his turn. 

 

Doyoung finished his part and returned to his spot. The music changed and the lighting shifted. Jisoo looked up, smiled her idol smile and lifted the mic to her mouth. 2NE1’s song had a bit of different feel compared to Doyoung’s ballad. Where Doyoung’s performance was dramatic and theatrical, Jisoo’s performance was a bit more powerful and playful. While she sang 2NE1’s “I Love You,” Jisoo tried her best to banish all thoughts of her earlier anxiety.

 

But then her performance ended and she returned to her spot. Jinyoung’s part, “Confession Song” was to be the main point of the performance. The lights changed once more so that three lone spotlights focused on the three MCs. Jinyoung turned around. Jisoo didn’t know why she stared at him since it wasn’t in the plan nor in their rehearsal, but as Jinyoung spun around to face the audience, he found himself staring her straight in the eye instead. Jinyoung lifted his mic and sang:

 

_“I’m in love with you,” why are these words so hard?_

_I keep hesitating to say it over and over again_

_Why is it so hard just to write a simple letter?_

_I keep writing it and tearing it over and over again_

 

Jisoo tried not to get lost in his voice. She still had her own part of the song to do. She lifted her mic and sang after him:

 

_You may not feel the same way as I do_

_I may never see you again_

_That’s what I’m afraid of_

_I don’t have the courage to tell you_

_With this song, let me open my heart to you_

 

Doyoung joined them in the chorus, the three of them singing “I love you,” but where Doyoung looked confidently into the audience and smiled radiantly, Jinyoung could only seem to look at Jisoo and she at him. _I love you, baby I love you_.

 

 _Stop looking at me_ , Jisoo thought, her cheeks coloring again, but she was unable to drop her smile, for the audience’s sake. Stop looking at me like that, she thought. _Look at the audience, they’ve gone through a lot to be here. Sing to them, not to me. What is with that look in your eyes? Why do this? You must know what you do to me._

 

Somehow, in the middle of the performance, Jisoo looked back at Jinyoung and found him, once again, looking at her. She thought she felt something snap inside her. She couldn’t hear the music anymore. Her mouth moved and her voice sang all on their own, for her soul wasn’t in the song anymore, it was _here_ , in the thread of nameless emotion that connected her gaze with his and kept her from looking away. She felt her singing voice beginning to waver as she sang her lines:

 

 _I love you, baby I love you_.

 

This wasn’t a performance. Not anymore. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

“I wasn’t actually sick, appa,” Jisoo whined, balancing her phone in the crook of her neck as she returned a jug of juice back into the fridge. After she made a big deal about being sick, her manager had called her parents to report her condition. Naturally, her father called to see if she was okay.

 

“Just because I feel sick doesn’t mean that I _am_ sick,” Jisoo said. “There’s a difference.”

 

Her slippers skidded across the hardwood past Blackpink’s common area, where the other girls were huddled around Rosé’s laptop, watching _Chocolat_. Jisoo didn’t want to disturb their viewing with her phone call, so she took herself back to her room as her father asked her if she was still taking those Chinese multivitamins he’d bought her last month.

 

“Yeah, I’ve been taking them. I have!” Jisoo said, shutting the door behind her lightly. “What? Why? Can we talk about that later? Well, because… because I’m at the dorms and… the girls…”

 

She closed her eyes and sighed as her father rambled on about the miraculous effects of natural medicine. When he was finally starting to wrap up, she mumbled: “Okay, I love you. Bye.”

 

Jisoo ended the call and then massaged her temples. She checked the digital clock on her bedside table and saw that it was still only 7pm. And she hadn’t had dinner yet. Lisa had placed an order for a jumbo-sized chicken box to be delivered to the dorms, but they would still have to wait about forty minutes in order for it to be delivered. In the meantime, Jisoo had been trying to keep her mind off of Jinyoung.

 

But she couldn’t get him out of her head. All she could think about was that moment their eyes met as he sang “I love you.” Just thinking out, her heart started pounding all over again. But the moment was short-lived, since her phone started buzzing with another phone call from her father.

 

“Appa?” Jisoo said tentatively but tiredly. “Yes! I already told you I did! I did. Ok. Ok. Ok. Yeah. Ok. Bye!”

 

She held her phone in one hand and was about to push herself off the bed with the other when the screen lit up again. With an exasperated breath, she prepared herself to tell her father to just text her since she wanted to watch _Chocolat_ with the girls without having to run to her bedroom every five minutes.

 

“Hello? Appa?”

 

“Jisoo?” 

 

Her eyebrows shot up. That voice was _not_ her appa. 

 

“Jinyoung?” she said, her voice breaking. Jinyoung laughed on the other end.

 

“I think you’ve got me confused with someone else,” he said cheerfully. Jisoo stood up, only because she couldn’t sit still. Her free hand ran through her hair, all flustered. She then pushed her palm against her face.

 

“Sorry, I thought you were my dad,” she said and then immediately blushed. “Not that you sound like him or that you sound old or are even anything like him, except maybe in the fact that you’re both nice and caring and— sorry, did you need something?”

 

Jinyoung laughed again, but then his voice grew quiet. He was silent for a while

 

“No. Ah. Actually I just… called to say hi,” he said. Jisoo’s shoulders relaxed though her cheeks still burned. He had called her before but the sensation of having his voice so close to her ear was always too much for her.

 

“Oh. Well, then… hi,” she said. She closed her eyes, as if to relish the sound of his voice better.

 

“You bolted so fast after recording today,” Jinyoung continued. “I was going to tell you that I thought you did a really good job today.”

 

Jisoo laughed nervously, crossing an arm over her chest and leaning against her bed frame.

 

“If only I could do better, though. I’m still stumbling over lines, and I keep forgetting that one guy’s name. Who is it again? The one from Seventeen?”

 

“Hoshi?”

 

Jisoo nodded. “Yeah. Ugh. Their fans must hate me.” 

 

“You’re overthinking it,” Jinyoung said reassuringly. “It was fine. Did the girls see the recording today?”

 

Jisoo scoffed. “Yeah, they watched it live,” she said, smiling. “They never miss an opportunity to see me make a fool of myself.”

 

“Lucky for me, Jackson’s really the only one who watches Inkigayo religiously just to see me being an idiot,” Jinyoung answered. “Although, on second thought, Jackson being Jackson, one person giving me shit over my mistakes is plenty.”

 

“I can’t imagine he’d be that critical, though,” she said, laughing. “And between the three of us, you make the least mistakes. Especially today, it is _your_ song after all.”

 

Jisoo’s cheeks burned even warmer at the memory of that day’s special stage. She still wasn’t over the shaken feeling that had overcome her when his eyes met hers. Time seemed to have stopped. On the other end of the call, she could hear Jinyoung taking a deep breath.

 

“The ‘Confession Song,’” he said. “That’s right.”

 

They were quiet again. Jisoo started to panic. She wanted to say something to him that was genuine and would keep their happy conversation up, sustain it for longer. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as well.

 

“Your voice is so…” she said, starting her sentence out slow, wanting to say the right thing. “Your singing… You sing really well.”

 

It was true. Jisoo had always admired Jinyoung’s singing. She had been 18 or 19 when he debuted in JJ Project, and although she wasn’t the most impressed by his performance back then, she remembered being shocked by how well he sang when he later debuted in GOT7. Since then, he only got better. Even speaking, his voice was melodic and soft. She liked hearing him say her name.

 

“Thank you,” he said gently. “So do you.”

 

“I sing alright,” Jisoo said, scoffing. She bit her bottom lip. “But you… you…”

 

“Jisoo,” Jinyoung suddenly said. Her stomach did a flip. His tone was different, she could tell that in his mind he had moved on from the subject. Her heart started pounding again. 

 

“Do you remember a few nights ago when you texted me?”

 

Oh no. Jisoo tried to make her breathing sound calm.

 

“Um. It sounds familiar,” she said, twisting a strand of hair nervously.

 

“I just… I’m not saying it wasn’t a good idea because it was a good one,” Jinyoung said, slowly. Carefully. 

 

“But… where did that come from?” he asked.

 

Jisoo sat down on the floor near her bed and pulled her knees up to her chest again. She rested her chin on her knees.

 

“Nowhere, really,” she said, her voice getting softer. She didn’t want the other girls to hear. She tried to think of a way to divert the conversation. 

 

“It sort of just came to me. Hey, have you noticed that the weather is getting colder?”

 

“I have noticed,” jinyoung said. “But wait, so, it really _was_ just a random, spur of the moment thing? I thought it was kind of random when you first brought it up, but it ended up being a genius idea, I just thought that…”

 

His voice trailed off at the end. Jisoo lifted her head. Every beat of silence that passed between them, she felt her body getting lighter and lighter. She put one hand palm down on the floor to steady herself.

 

“Yes?” she whispered.

 

“I just thought it was odd because,” Jinyoung said, pausing often in between his carefully chosen words. “I’d been thinking about that song for a while now. It was in my head, and then _you_ suddenly suggested it, I thought it was like a sign or something that maybe I should… never mind. Anyway, I just called to tell you I thought you did a good job today.”

 

Jisoo’s ballooning spirit deflated and fell to the floor. There it was again, that same feeling of disappointment that came to her earlier. She sighed.

 

“Oh,” she said, her voice flat. “Thank you. You did say that already.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

More silence. Jisoo fidgeted with a strand of hair again. She could practically hear her heart beating in the thickness of the quiet. She could hear him breathing on the other line. She wished she could hear him thinking, too.

 

“Is that it, though?” she said. “You just called to say ‘good job’ and ask me where I got my ideas from? It really was just out of nowhere.”

 

Jinyoung laughed softly.

 

“You could’ve fooled me the other night though,” he said. “You were so convincing. And that stuff you wrote, it was… it was really honest.”

 

She heard him swallow and then sigh.

 

“Actually, for a moment,” he said. “I thought it _was_ real, that you liked a guy. I felt so touched that you were telling me. And then I thought… Ha. Then for a hot second, I thought you meant _me_. Stupid, right?”

 

It was Jisoo’s turn to be the quiet one now. She leaned back against her bed, holding the phone to her ear and letting her breaths out slowly and evenly. The only sounds she could make out were the distant squeals of her Blackpink teammates in the common room and Jinyoung existing on the other end of the call.  

 

“Jisoo? You there?” 

 

She said, tentatively: “Yeah…”

 

Jinyoung paused and then said carefully: “You only think of me as a friend, don’t you?” 

 

His voice was trembling, as was her heart. Jisoo pressed her lips into a thin line once more and thought of what she should do. What should she say?

 

“ _Say something_ , _”_ Jinyoung said, desperation in his voice. “I’m stupid, aren’t I? Thinking like that? Thinking that what you said was real?”

 

Jisoo closed her eyes and breathed: “Not _that_ stupid.”

 

Jinyoung was silent.

 

“Don’t do that,” he said. Jisoo furrowed her brows.

 

“What?” she said.

 

“Don’t tease me like that,” Jinyoung’s voice sounded pained. “You must know how much I… You… You always make me…”

 

He made a sound over the phone that sounded like it could be a laugh or a choke or both. 

 

“You mess up my feelings _so_ _much_ ,” he said. 

 

Jisoo swallowed, and then, feeling uncharacteristically brave, she answered: “And you mess up mine.”

 

Suddenly all her nerves were gone. They were replaced with the oddest sensation of lightness. Like if she weren’t holding onto her bed frame, she might float up to the ceiling and then into the air. She wanted to throw her phone against the wall again and then scream, but not out of frustration or anger or humiliation, but out of relief. _There_ , she thought. _I’ve said it_.

 

Jinyoung didn’t answer for the longest time. For a minute, she was almost scared that he’d just hung up or her terrible cellphone signal had suddenly cut her off before he could hear what she had said. But she heard him breathing again, on the other end of the line. _Say something_ , she begged in her head.

 

“Where are you?” he suddenly asked. Jisoo was taken aback.

 

“What?”

 

“Are you at home?” he asked. Jisoo looked around, as if to check to make sure that she _was_ at home.

 

“I… yeah. Why?”

 

“Can I come see you?” He was breathless.

 

“What?” Jisoo said, standing up.

 

“I just… I want to have this conversation in person,” he said, tenderness in his voice. Jisoo’s heart started racing again. Here? Now? As in right now? The girls were only in the other room, how would she—

 

“Okay,” she said quickly, before she could convince herself otherwise. “I’m at home.”

 

“I’ll be there soon.” Jinyoung hung up. Jisoo could hear the smile in his voice.

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

About 24 minutes. Jisoo stared at the approximate journey time that Naver maps was giving her to get from the GOT7 dorm to the Blackpink dorm, and it wasn’t giving her any reassurance at all. Twenty-four minutes was not much time at all. Not nearly enough time to make up an excuse to give to the girls to explain why she was trying to sneak past them and into the building elevator lobby, and not nearly enough time to choose an outfit that was simultaneously cute and casual enough to make it look like she didn’t spend twenty minutes choosing it. And not nearly enough time to do something about her face, which was bare and in dire need of moisture. Achieving a makeup a look that looked simultaneously elegant and natural actually did take quite a bit of time. 

 

Jisoo checked the clock on the wall, her heart fluttering the entire time. She was sick with anticipation. 

 

What would he say? God, what should _she_ say? All these questions running through her head were making her dizzy. She pressed the heels of her palms to her forehead and tried to calm herself down. 

 

“Stop, stop it,” she whispered to herself. “Calm down, it’s just Jinyoung. You two have talked face to face lots of times before, it’s nothing different.”

 

 _Except it is different_ , her brain said. All those other times they talked had been as friends. But where were they now on the spectrum of human relationship? Somewhere between friends and more, straddling that line, perhaps. 

 

There wasn’t enough time to do much. In the end, Jisoo had opted to just change out of her shorts and throw on some pants but kept her shirt. Her hair had been curled for Inkigayo that day, but after washing and drying, it was as straight as uncooked spaghetti, but at least it was clean. As for her face, BB cream and lip balm would have to do, but she pinched her cheeks to add a bit of color.

 

All that was left now was to get down to the elevator lobby without the girls noticing. Which would be tricky, since they had already yelled for her twice to hurry up and join them since she had already missed half of Johnny Depp’s scenes. 

 

“Unni!” Lisa shouted from the living room. “Hurry up! You’re missing the whole thing, we’re not gonna rewind it for you!”

 

“I’m on the phone with my parents!” Jisoo shouted. “It’s fine, I’ll just watch it on my own later.”

 

“Aww, but that’s no fun!” Rosé whined. “The whole reason we even put it on was so we could have team bonding time.”

 

Jisoo stuck her head out the door and looked down the hallway. She could just make out Lisa and Jennie’s backs, which were turned toward her as they focused on the screen of Rosé’s laptop. Distracted. Jisoo chewed on her bottom lip and then eyed their front door. It was a short walk, but that also meant having to cross the living room area. She checked the time and saw that she had about four minutes.

 

She stepped out carefully in her socks. Mindful of the creaking floors, Jisoo stepped lightly down the hall, tiptoeing past the living room slowly. The girls were still watching _Chocolat_ , they didn’t seem to notice their unni sneaking past them behind their backs. Jisoo reached the front door safely and slipped on her shoes. She was halfway out the door when her cellphone chimed. She heard the girls shuffling in the common room. Panicking, Jisoo slammed the door shut and ran toward the elevator.

 

In the living room, the remains members of Blackpink exchanged looks of confusion.

 

Once safely in the elevator, Jisoo checked her phone. Just as she suspected, it was a text from Jinyoung.

 

“I’m outside,” it said. 

 

 _Shit_ , Jisoo said. He was early. The elevator ticked as it passed each floor and then a bell rang when it reached the ground. Jisoo stepped out carefully, checking her reflection in the mirror inside the lift before she walked out.

 

Once in the ground floor elevator lobby, Jisoo saw Jinoyung’s silhouette in the opaque glass doors. She felt like her soul was fighting to get out of her body through her throat as she walked over. Waving a key card in front of the sensor, she opened the door.

 

Jinyoung turned around to face her. 

 

He looked much as he did earlier that day, before the makeup and the styling. Fresh-faced, soft hair, normal, sensible clothing, but there was a tenseness in his shoulders. Jisoo took a deep breath and silently moved aside to let him into the building. His shoulder brushed hers as he stepped in.

 

Jisoo closed the door behind him and fidgeted with her hands as she faced him. Jinyoung, too, played with the heath strap of his watch, but he kept his eyes on Jisoo while she looked down at the floor. The silence was becoming awkward, so they both looked up and tried to say something, only to wind up talking at the same time. They stopped, laughed a bit and then Jinyoung said:

 

“Sorry. You go first.”

 

Jisoo shook her head.

 

“No, you go,” she said, quietly. Jinyoung nodded and then took another deep breath. The elevator lobby was silent except the sound of bells whenever the lift stopped at a certain floor. Jisoo was telling herself to look up at him, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at his eyes. She stared at his neck instead. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed before speaking.

 

“So, then,” Jinyoung began carefully. “It _was_ me you were talking about the other night.”

 

Jisoo closed her eyes and sighed. No point trying to skirt around the subject now. 

 

“Yes,” she said. “It was.”

 

Jinyoung suddenly felt weightless. Jisoo looked up at him and saw him trying and failing to repress a smile.

 

“Why didn’t you just say so, then?” he said, his voice soft.

 

“Because… Because you’re so… you know, and I’m so… you know,” Jisoo said with a shaky voice. She was so nervous, and her feelings for him were so close to the surface now, she was fighting to keep them from swelling up and overwhelming her. But here he was and she had liked him for so long. She crossed her arms.

 

“And anyway, I was scared that you didn’t feel the same way,” she said, looking aside. “And I knew that if you didn’t, I’d feel hurt and that it might make things awkward between us, and then it would just ruin everything, including our professional partnership. I was scared that if you didn’t feel the same way, you’d distance yourself from me—”

 

“I wouldn’t have,” Jinyoung said, his voice rising and taking as top toward her. “You should be more confident in me, I’d have respected your feelings if you told me.”

 

It had been months now that they hosted the music show together. During that time, he and Jisoo had become especially close. When he first heard that she’d be on of his co-MC’s, he was afraid that she would be cold and chic, but it didn’t take long at all for him to realize that that was just an image she projected when promoting Blackpink. The real Jisoo had an open heart, a genuine personality, and the brightest, most beautiful smile he’d ever seen on a girl, and it was her openness that had drawn him in and captured his heart. That she had hidden something like this from him for so long saddened him. 

 

“And anyhow,” he said softly. “I _do_ feel the same way.”

 

Jisoo finally looked up at him. Her eyes were wide, hopeful.

 

“You do?” she said. Jinyoung couldn’t help smiling.

 

“When you said all those things in your message the other night and I thought they were about me, I went a little crazy,” he said. 

 

“I wanted to come over here _that night_ and tell you everything right then,” he said. “But then you said it wasn’t about me or anyone, so I crammed my feelings down again. But then at Inkigayo, while we were recording that performance and we were singing that song, I was looking at you and listening to the lyrics and I realized that these feelings weren’t going to go away, but at any moment, one of us might.”

 

He took another step forward, not letting go on her gaze. Jisoo’s heart was pounding, but she couldn’t move. Jinyoung pressed his lips into a tight line and exhaled slowly before confessing:

 

“I like you, Jisoo.”

 

Time seemed to stand still in that moment. Jisoo’s eyes, shaking in their sockets, suddenly lit up. Her lip quivered as she tried to speak.

 

“You…You do?”

 

Jinyoung’s eyes crinkled a bit as he smiled.

 

“Yes,” he answered confidently. “I have for a while now. Maybe since we met, but nowadays, I like you so much I can’t keep it anymore. I think you’re beautiful and sweet and spirited and a generally wonderful person.”

 

Jisoo was so happy she could cry. So happy, she was practically glowing. She was searching and searching for the right thing to say at a time like this, thinking about whether or not there _was_ a right thing to say at a time like this. She was choking on all the wrong answers and finally she worked up all her courage and said:

 

“I like you, too. I think… I think you’re perfect.”

 

Jinyoung’s smile got brighter, if that was even possible. Jisoo laughed gently and pressed her palms against her cheek, feeling how warm they were. 

 

“God, that just felt so good to say aloud,” Jisoo said, laughing. Jinyoung had gotten closer to her, close enough reach out and touch her arm softly.

 

“And this isn’t just another crazy idea for an Inkigayo special stage, right?”

 

Jisoo laughed again.

 

“Of course not,” she said. Jinyoung’s hands reached out and touched hers. 

 

“If it were, I’d have been way more creative with the delivery,” she said. She looked up again and saw him, close enough that she could feel his breath against her brow. All her nerves were gone now. All she cold feel was the gentle burn of complete and utter happiness. She smiled at Jinyoung. 

 

“What happens now?” she whispered. “What should we do?”

 

Jisoo looked up at Jinyoung. His face was so close to hers that she could see the emotion in his eyes going from thoughtful to tender and they never once wandered away from her face. He held her gaze with a soft look, and Jisoo almost didn’t even register that he was leaning into her. Jisoo closed her eyes, closed the remaining gap between their faces, and relished the soft touch of his lips on her own. She felt her spirit blooming at the moment of the kiss and like her skin were the only thing keeping her from going everywhere all at once. She held onto the front of his shirt. His hands rested at her waist, his fingers gently pressed against her body, holding her still. However Jisoo imagined a perfect kiss, _this_ was better. 

 

Another few seconds into the kiss, and the passion was just beginning to heighten. His mouth started moving, and Jisoo tilted her face to give him more access and her body fit against his so nicely. But just as things were starting, there was knock against the glass doors behind them. Jinyoung pulled away first and looked past Jisoo at the silhouette in the opaque glass. He couldn’t make out much except that the person was wearing a helmet, a red polo shirt, and was carrying what could only be a box of fried chicken.

 

“I guess someone ordered chicken for delivery?” he said. Jisoo’s eyes widened. She whipped around to open the door, but at that very moment, the elevator opened and out came Lisa.

 

Lisa strolled out of the elevator casually with some cash in hand. But once in the lobby, were eyes found Jisoo.

 

“Oh. Unni. What are you doing—?” Lisa said and then her eyes spotted the boy standing next to her. “Sunbaenim?”

 

Jisoo and Jinyoung both flushed. Jisoo stuttered as she tried to explain, saying nothing that was intelligible. Lisa eyed them both, teasing as she walked over to the door and paid for their order of chicken. Jinyoung kept his hands in his pockets and looked anywhere but directly at Lisa or Jisoo. Jisoo fidgeted with her hair. 

 

Lisa punched the call button for an elevator. The few seconds she spent waiting for it to arrive was hell for Jisoo. She cleared her throat and tried to make conversation.

 

“Did you finish the movie?” Jisoo asked.

 

“Not yet,” Lisa said, but she kept looking at Jinyoung. “Sunbaenim, you can come up to the dorm if you two want to talk in there.”

 

“Thank you,” Jinyoung said, breathlessly. “But maybe another time, I should get going soon.”

 

“Yes, he’s quite busy,” Jisoo said, sounding so stiff and formal all of a sudden.

 

Lisa smirked. “Alright, then,” she said as the elevator finally arrived. She stepped into it with a teasing smile still on her face. 

 

Once Lisa was gone, Jisoo let out the breath she was holding and turned back to Jinyoung. He laughed. 

 

“Great,” Jisoo said. “I’ll get it once I get back up there. I can already hear them talking about us.”

 

“She’ll probably tell Bambam, too,” Jinyoung said. “That should be fun.”

 

Jisoo laughed. She turned serious once again and looked at Jinyoung with a smirk. “So, I guess this means you’re my boyfriend now?”

 

Jinyoung shrugged and then smiled. “Are you my girlfriend?”

 

Jisoo answered him with a content smile. Finding a bench in the lobby, they sat down for a bit and talked some more, working out the logistics of their new relationship. When they finally noticed time passing, Jisoo dubbed it safe to return to her dorm. She walked Jinyoung as far as the front door. Before turning and leaving, Jinyoung leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Jisoo felt abuzz with sheer happiness once again. Jinyoung smiled as he backed away and started toward the sidewalk.

 

“Goodnight,” he said. Once he was gone, Jisoo rode the elevator back up. The long ride to her floor felt considerably less empty than when she rode it down before. Her heart was too full. Still... she wondered what was next for her and Jinyoung now that they'd crossed that threshold and were journeying together into uncharted territory. What now?

 

Once back on the floor, she realized again that she'd have to face the girls. No doubt, they had already forgotten all about  _Chocolat_  and were now discussing her love life. She stood outside the door for a minute, deciding what she should do about her entrance. That was when she suddenly received a text again. Her heart fluttered seeing that it was from Jinyoung, again. Her  _boyfriend_ , Jinyoung, she thought. 

 

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" he asked. Jisoo smiled. What a common question, she thought. But she supposed this was what's next: one text at a time, one date at a time. On and on into the future. She replied:

 

"Nothing. Why do you ask? Do you have plans for us?"

 

After a few second Jinyoung replied: "Maybe, haha. Just... nevermind. Goodnight."

 

 

**{the end}**

 


End file.
